The Next Chapter

All through this period of unemployment, I have been asking God, “what would you like me to do next?”

I will admit, I had been wearied a bit by the many years of ‘giving it all I’ve got’, every day. But I took away a quiet satisfaction in bring able to look back on that effort and to know that God honoured it with gainful employment and the satisfaction of a job well done, at the end of every day, every week, every month, every year. And I took away a great recommendation from my former boss, a guy who had some serious moxie as VP of HR. (It’s not worth asking how MarComm got put under HR. Really.)

But I still have that spark within me to go out and do good. Last night I read a quote in Max Lucado’s Cure for the Common Life which really sums it all up nicely, and I’ll paraphrase here:

God gave me the gift of certain talents.  My giving back to him is to offer those talents as a gift to his glory.

And it looks like I’ll be starting work on Monday. My hand’s in yours, Lord. Let’s go do good things together.

 

A brief update: I’ll be starting mid-week; it takes a while for the Agency to get my account set up and ready to use by all three of us: my Client, the Agency, and me.

Remembering my father on Memorial Day

My Dad served in WWII. 

He found a way to serve, in a way that did not violate his faith at the time. He was a Mormon (then), and therefore had restrictions of conscience upon how he could serve. 

But he found a way. Eventually becoming Master Sergeant of Patton’s motor pool (many stories there), but when the battalion was in motion, he took the most hazardous job in the column: driving a Low-Boy (a drop-center trailer) with a tank on the back. Everybody and his sister waited to kill that transporter, because it meant disabling of that tank. 

There was a Jeep both in front and in back, with soldiers whose job it was to protect that tank. Dad told me a couple stories about everyday encounters, but only hinted at the treachery and violence which was attempted. Suffice to say that reports from Vietnam were the same or even a bit milder. 

Dad was there, all through the invasion of Sicily, Anzio, and finally Italy, serving in a nonviolent role until he was “damn near killed by a bunch of drunk assholes” by being run over with a halftrack in Paris, while trying to get a decent Christmas dinner for his division. 

His back was broken in several places, and these well-meaning but drunk soldiers picked him up and put him in the back of a Jeep, to transport him to the nearest field hospital. 

Dad came home on a hospital ship, and lived the rest of his life with two pieces of steel in his back. That didn’t stop him from meeting Mom, and from loving us two kids in a way that valued our lives. 

I can’t say more than two words: 

Thanks, Dad.

Awesomeness in the midst of conflicting emotions

In the last few months, we have had several burdens upon us.

We haven’t been able to go camping; and this is when we’d be quite frequently camping. My wife’s Congestive Heart Failure (CHF) is giving her trouble with being able to catch her breath after doing the most simple of things. She’s able to get around, but has to stop about every 20 feet to catch her breath, and has no stamina, due to the lack of ability to get into condition. My old knees haven’t been right, restricting my own mobility; and although I’m working on getting into better shape, even that’s gone in the wrong direction lately.

Thanks to my former boss (VP of HR) and his prescience, he got me into a category such that if there were cuts, it was going to make cutting my job hurt my employer rather badly. Consequently I have a year of full severance and fully paid COBRA insurance coverage for both of us, as we were covered in that manner previously.

There’s a ‘but’ with that.

Meanwhile, to keep my wife’s health up, we’d of course been on several doctor’s visits. But there were ongoing problems with getting the insurance to cover her visits. After many phone calls, and probably a day’s worth of waiting on hold, we discovered in April that my wife was supposed to have immediately applied (back in January when my job was terminated) for Medicare in order for the COBRA insurance to partner in covering her – so all coverage since January has been denied!

CHF isn’t a cheap disease to have. And you have to stay ahead of it. But with expensive visits (let’s call it the equivalent of a couple car payments) she’s had to skip the visits until Medicare begins coverage.

There is good news: We finally have things straightened out, and she will be fully covered again after June 1. We have doctor’s visits scheduled ASAP after that date, as her CHF symptoms are really bothering her.

The bad news is that even after appeals, we find ourselves liable for well over a thousand dollars in medical bills.

Meanwhile, God continues to remind me that he is on my side. And we respond by looking up in faith, instead of looking around; we both remain positive that things will turn out okay.

And now, in a God-moment of “look at this, child”: I came to this devotion in Tony Dungy’s book, The One Year Uncommon Life Daily Challenge. I’m giving proper credit and quoting ver batim with editing for flow. I’m also highlighting the passages which struck me:

For Us

If God is for us, who can ever be against us? Romans 8:31

How many times have we prayed for a certain outcome, imagined that a problem has only one solution, and lost heart when that outcome or solution didn’t occur? How many times have we seen that happen in our lives at home, at work, in sports, or with financial investments?

And then we learn, of course, that God has something much better in store. That’s what the apostle Paul proclaims in today’s verse.

For me, 2001 was a monster of a difficult year in Tampa Bay. First, as a team, we had all gone through the uncertainty of 9/11 and the aftermath together with the rest of the country. But we rallied from a slow start to make the playoffs again, only to lose to the Philadelphia Eagles in Philly—again. Off the field, the media was having a field day speculating whether I would be fired and if Bill Parcells would be the guy to replace me.

My staff and I just kept coaching, believing that the Lord requires us to do our jobs and He will take care of the rest. And then, despite much prayer, we were fired. That was not the answer or outcome we were looking for, but it was the answer we got.

And so in the midst of much disappointment and uncertainty for the future, we packed up, not knowing what doors the Lord would open tomorrow, but still believing He would provide. And He did. The Indianapolis Colts called with a mission statement they wanted me to fulfill.

If God is for us. (How could I have forgotten that promise?) Then who can ever be against us? Once again I was reminded that in every outcome—whether it was the one I had been praying and hoping for or not—God had a good plan in place, something whereby He would be glorified. And the amazing thing about that plan? It was just one of many in my life.

Ever since the appeals were denied, as I continue the prayerful hunt for a new job, I’d been looking to God to find me the right one, and with immediate medical coverage. It didn’t take much calculation to see that it would take just two of the COBRA payments from my former employer to fully pay off our medical bills.

But God is at work here. His timing is perfect, as always. In the mail on Saturday came the notice for my first payout of my pension, which was activated upon, and retroactive to, my job’s termination.

The check is exactly enough to cover all our medical expenses.

Thank you Lord. 

Retirement vs. Recharging Batteries

It’s now been four months since my old job was terminated, and there have been many things happening in the interim. And some very complicated emotions.

So have I been idle? Oh-no-no-no-no… Things around the house which have been neglected are now fixed, and others are on the way to being fixed.

Am I in better shape, physically​? Unfortunately, no… My knees have restricted me from doing many things, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t ask others to help me get things done. And every one and all of you guys have my great gratitude.

And what about the Big R: Retirement? I don’t think so. At this stage of my life, it’d be like giving up. I still have this energy left in me to, as Max Lucado says, “…to make a big deal out of God”.

I think of the difference I’ve made in the places where I’ve worked, and the spark of Life is still alive and dancing within me.

On the other side of the spectrum, I was recently thinking about someone I know who had a “retirement party”, and used the opportunity to tell many stories about how he had inflicted his point of view on others, instead of listening to their life stories and putting an arm around them and accepting them for who they are.

I was saddened by the loss of opportunity: I heard someone who makes great claims about his faith, but had thrown away several chances to reflect Christ in his life by understanding people on a one-to-one basis. Yep, you go getting full of pride, watch out for what it does to you. So yeah, I lost a bunch of respect for the guy that day.

If I should ever have a ‘retirement party’, may some things be true:

  • It’s going to be some time in the future.
  • May I have made a difference in people’s lives.
  • May others be able to speak of me as a strong, quiet, and steadfast friend.
  • And may I have many more friends than I ever realized.

Let’s get back to the present: Here I am, nearing “retirement age”, and yet I still have an energy and drive to give to those things which God would wish me to do: enriching the lives of those with whom I work, making a difference every day with my work, being a friend and a deep resource for my employer, and being able to come home every day, knowing that I have made a difference in God’s world.

Meanwhile, the job hunt goes on: I have a couple opportunities: one, to East of me, and another to the North. The potential of both of these is literally exciting. Even at my age…

I know that God’s hand still rests upon me, and maybe he thinks I’m still useful.

I’m still energized. I’m still able. But most of all, I’m still God’s servant.

Let’s see where this goes.

I’m in for the ride, Lord; let’s go.

Don’t see this kind of thing, all that often: A Double Rainbow

This afternoon, we had weather of storm, nice, storm, nice, storm… You get the picture. Weather typical of where I grew up in Western Washington. But today brought a special reward: a clear double rainbow.

This is one of those things where the light has to be just right, and the contrast good enough for a camera to capture it.


It was invisible only moments later when the clouds to the Southwest parted and the Sun bought the primary rainbow into full brilliance.

And then it was all gone.

Transitory moments are part of our existence; they are a great part of what we are. THIS is why I am forever urging you to get outside, go outside, no matter what the weather; and just be a part of what is happening in Nature.

God created it all; he still beckons and says, “Look what I have to show you, my child”.

A Cowboy Version of Eggs in Purgatory

On a recent camping trip, I had the brilliant idea to use up one of the cans of chili in the cupboard – for breakfast!

Combine that with a couple of soft-fried eggs, and you get this “Cowboy” version of Eggs in Purgatory. It was so good that I grabbed the phone and made a quick snapshot:

Here’s all you need for two people:

  • 1 can of Dennison’s Chili (we like Dennison’s because it doesn’t taste ‘tinny’, and it tastes like real chili)
  • 4 eggs

Open the chili and get it heating in a pot. Add about a tablespoon of water to ‘loosen’ it just a bit so it won’t scorch on you while you cook the eggs. Fry the eggs until the white sets, then plate: Chili on the bottom, eggs on top. Toast is up to you; we found we didn’t need it because of the carbs in the chili.

This is a great one because it’s flavorful, and can go together on anything you brought to cook with.

Simple, quick, easy… say Grace and enjoy!

The birds have returned!

The last couple of nights, I’ve heard a Ring-Necked Pheasant in the upper meadow. Today, I saw him in the back meadow, looking along the fence, picking up seeds from the dead blackberries.

He reminds me of the ‘lot bell’ that we had where I was an Apprentice Mechanic: we had hoses strung across the lot, and the bell would ‘ding’ when a potential Customer drove in…

This particular pheasant shrieks whenever someone drives by on our dirt road. He kind of reminds me of a temperamental character who always yells, “Get off my lawn!”

Meanwhile, a couple nights ago, I saw a murder of crows, chasing an eagle. But the eagle, zooming along the edge of the Ravine, executed a powerful, graceful, and gorgeous wing-over maneuver that just took my breath away. And the murder of crows could not have a prayer of following the eagle.

Although they all objected loudly, they lost the eagle.

And tonight, the eagle came back to perch on one of our oak trees. The crows were still loudly in pursuit, trying to drive him off. You can always tell when there’s an eagle on the vicinity, from the caphocophany of the crows. Even so, I managed to grab a shot of him, waiting patiently for the crows to give him space.

He’s in the top of that spindly oak, and you can see the crows, giving him a hard time.

A few moments later, he flew off; the crows giving a half-hearted chase, as they knew they’d won. For the moment.

The cold and the rains may have finally let up, for a while. And the raptors have returned, hunting mice and voles; bringing a balance to life on the side of the mountain.